The bright pops of raspberry (and to a much lesser extent, blueberry and strawberry) kind of conflicts with the earthiness beneath it. Again, the mixed berry General Mills bakes into each O and loosely strewn oat is good-it just doesn’t mesh with the base toasted oatiness as naturally as the likewise “sweetly browned” Cinnamon, Honey, and Almond did before it. If I could somehow get that same gravelly oaten sensory satisfaction on every inch of my body, I’d probably be like those mice that pushes the dopamine button ’til it dies.īut with that borderline licentious compliment out of the way, let’s get to the flavor. There’s just something so pleasant about the crispety–crunchety mouthfeel that it’s like a fidget toy for your tongue. And that’s because, independent of the flavor, the texture of Cheerios Oat Crunch cereals presents such a sublime exercise in restrained yet sophisticated tactile appeal that Berry Oat Crunch already provides a worthwhile masticatory experience from the very first bite. In fact, unless they dropped like, an Oven-Roasted Sewage variety, I feel like it’s probably impossible for an Oat Crunch to actually be bad. Let me be clear: Cheerios Berry Oat Crunch is not a bad cereal. I think you can see where I’m going with this. Between the tongue-hugging warmth of Cinnamon Oat Crunch, the golden perfection of Oats ‘N Honey (well, other than that imperfectly stylized ‘N), and the nutty nuance of Almond Oat Crunch, Cheerios G.O.A.T. Why do I bring this up? Because “Berry” is now the fourth member to join the Cheerios Oat Crunch family of cereals, an esteemed breakfast dynasty that I’ve no-doubt given more consistently positive feedback than any other cereal line reviewed on this site. And luckily, our little geek asylum wasn’t that well funded. Naturally, our teacher admonished us but ultimately let us get away with it, because once you’re mentally checked out with the tantalizing liberation of college on the horizon, it would take a menacing cyborg library cop to check us back in. Where once we studied the effects of atmospheric conditions on things like coffee acidity and laser attenuation, we ended our esteemed tenure like a squeaking mouse fart in the night, deciding instead to determine the effect of a potato’s surface area on its rate of osmosis….a question so obvious that a root vegetable hooked to a battery could probably figure it out.

In my fourth year at the fancy-pants math & science high school I went to-which I mention not as a brag, for it was essentially just a safe haven for nerds who’d get be-swirlied and de-lunch-moneyed otherwise-my annual research group fell so far from our former graces.

New cheerios oat crunch honey